Nicky's Blog

still no diabetes

I am a tired, tired man. Chronically so. You might even say I'm chronically fatigued1.

I used to get regular blood pre-pandemic for that reason, because I'd either be close to or just straight up falling asleep in the middle of the day for seemingly no reason. Good night's sleep? Still knackered. Caffeinated? Still knackered. Decaffienated? Knackered, and grumpy. Exercise, day off, leisure time, on and on. Still tired.

The big two usual suspects are my weight (a long battle of mine) and my meds. Being obese opens you up to all sorts of tiredness, and my anti-depressants are the kind that sap your energy rather than top it up. Add to that generic depression symptoms and added stress of life and you have a pretty clear picture.

The problem is both of the big two can also lead to more medical causes. Weight can lead to diabetes; meds to liver and/or thyroid problems. None of which can be found out without testing, and all of which are possible.

At my worst, I've wished for any of the above.

It's a stupid thing to wish for, I know. None of them are particularly pleasant things to live with or be treated for. But on the other hand, a physical problem that I can treat with a pill or a shot that will actually improve my quality of life and aid in doing the additional work to further improve my quality of life? A simple, understandable explanation that I can say to explain why I look and feel like I've just woken up in the middle of the day?

Yes, please.

I finally sucked it up and asked for a full blood workup now that we're officially out of pandemic measures and the GP is finally in a good spot. Had them done Wednesday, got the results back Thursday2, and I'm all clear. Even my HbA1c level was below any suspicion of diabetes, which after being overweight to obese through my entire adult life seems like a bit of an achievement (and a bullet I continue to dodge).

But it still leaves me with nothing to treat but the obvious, which is a bitter pill, one that I'm finding hard to swallow. Stress is proving unavoidable; layoffs at both mine and my wife's places are on the horizon, the house still needs work doing, mortgage needs negotiating fairly soon, winter costs rising, and various drama's that I've been mentally putting off to deal with the above. My workouts are suffering because of it, so I'm not getting the endorphins boost from the gym at the minute.

And as you can imagine, my diet has gone straight to hell.

But you can't help the cards you're dealt, only how you play the hand, and complaining doesn't work well as a strategy. So, focus.

I don't have anything medically wrong with me. That's good data, and tells me what I should be focusing on.

I can't change or influence any decision being made about my wife and I's jobs, only prepare for what may come.

The mortgage isn't a problem in the immediate present, only the near future, and I can't do anything on that other than ensure I can budget for another £300ish in the monthly outgoings and trust my broker more than myself to know the market.3

I have an action plan being worked on for the house, and it's coming along slowly but surely. Gotta get the rain out of the way to really do some stuff.

Everything else can be treated by returning to the fundamentals. Rebuilding my Foundation. That's for the next post.

And hey, still no diabetes. Bullet dodged.

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  1. Don't suggest that to my GP, or be met with scepticism and scorn.

  2. Leaving my wife, still waiting for her MRI results two months on, to get just a little jealous.

  3. Another theme for another day.