Just Begin Again (again)
There is no need to sharpen my pencils anymore.
My pencils are sharp enough!
Even the dull ones will make a mark!
Warts and all!
Let's start this shit up!
Ze Frank, An Invocation for Beginnings
So, it's been a while. Again.
Things have finally startled settling down my end, both internally and externally. The Sun is shining more, which helps, but it's also getting hotter, which doesn't. More importantly, I no longer feel like I'm barely controlling my thoughts and feelings, and I'm back to actually engaging with the world again. 1
Part of that is starting to write here again. I've talked before about the value I get from shouting into my little corner of the void (link), and in particular the benefit of the feedback I get from other writers and readers (link), but when the internal monologue get too loud it becomes...difficult.
Of course, now that's subsided, I have a long list of things I've been meaning to write about and just haven't for months.
I want to write about what's helped me recover this time, both the obvious and the not so obvious.
I want to write about the digital detox I'm on, the weight loss journey I've restarted, and how I was inspired by Arnold Schwarzenegger's in person response to my question 'How do I get an Arnie bum?'
I want to write about my twin yearly themes for 2024 that I chose in April, like any good sized corporation trying to figure out KPIs for performance ratings2.
I want to write about the group STRFKR, a group I discovered 13 years ago through random searches and have recently started echoing in my skull again.
I want to write about the anxieties of home maintenance, and the struggle between the guy I want to be, then guy I am, and the question 'why not?'.
And as usual, the list goes on and on to the point where it becomes difficult to just start.
Then just as I was staring out at my garden in a quiet period of work, I remembered the simplest way forward. Just Begin Again. Restart the clock. Start fresh and just move forward.
I was going to go all in - delete all posts or archive them, wipe the email list, redo it all. But there doesn't seem to be an easy way to edit/delete/archive multiple posts, and going into each one to click a button or add a tag or something sounds far too clunky for a symbolic gesture. I did wipe the mailing list, although I can't do anything about the RSS feed. Feel free to delete if this isn't a thing for you anymore, but I hope you stick around and maybe even reach out (email is nicky.bearblog@outlook.com).
Posts will be every Sunday morning UK time. No extra posts, at least until I figure this out and get back to my writing routine.
Hope to see you then.